I'm a square and I don't care.

Yeah, that's right...

I don't care............Every day of my life I observe and learn and discover and every day I analyze every single thing that stays in my conscious memory. Whether or not I am correct about my observations, hypothesis, accusations, conclusions or assumptions is to be determined, or never to be determined; depending on if the subject has an absolute answer. Some things are far too complex for any absolute answer.

With that being said....the following is my latest sociological observation that's been irritating the nails right off my fingers:

Categories.

I know the human mind is wired to categorize; it's a process that utilizes multiple areas of the brain in order to determine what an item or situation is, based on certain aspects, especially aspects derived from sensory. I have not looked into this phenomenon but I can assume it is related to original survival instincts of primitive human, because the ability to categorize items based on danger, sustenance, shelter, etc., was important to carry on the human race...and like always, humans are their own worst enemy. Our minds, wired for a time we've evolved out of, have less important things to focus on, but the ability remains.

I like to think of myself as a dichotomy but really, 'di' is an understatement....

My political views are best described as social libertarian/fiscal conservative...

I support gay rights and the Second Amendment. Just to name a couple.

I like heavy metal, emo, screamo, country, rap, hip hop, bluegrass, banjo music, top 40 and acoustic folk.

I wear tank tops that I've had since 10th grade, shoes I bought from the Vietnamese thrift store 6 years ago, and I carry a purse that's totally falling apart.

My car sucks, my phone is nothing special.

I have one tattoo and I got it because it meant a lot to me.

I had one piercing that I grew out of.

I like raw sushi with extra wasabi sauce. I like almond crusted tilapia with raspberry sauce, escargot, salmon roe, crem brule and anything with balsamic vinegar. I also like 69 cent tacos from Jack in the Box, Top Ramen and once in a while, I open a can of tuna and eat it with my fingers.

I can wash it all down with a $75 bottle of Riesling, an $8 local micro-brew or a Keystone Light, half percent in a can....warm.

I'm not without my opinions and preferences. But what it comes down to is, if it's good to me, I like it. And that's just how it works.

I've noticed an interesting trend in friends....

It seems that a lot of people my age are either terrified to step out of their bubble and try something new, so they stick with the old tried and true; and criticize everyone else for being "fancy" or "yuppie" ...you mention raw fish and they dry heave.

And then there are those who are ALL ABOUT the non-mainstream. Anything unknown or undiscovered; like they're in their own secret little club that NO ONE is invited to without VIP permission.

The ladder annoys me much more than the former.

I'm a firm believer that if you like something, discover something new, or have a concept that could better society, versus destruct it, you should share it. How arrogant and petty are people...really...that they feel the need to exclude others from their ideals, music, food, styles...You're not Confucius! You just stumbled upon something and you want to hold onto it like Smigel wanted the ring...

....and the idea does the same thing to artists and ideas that it does to him; it withers away the concept and the beauty as people close in and act like the idea is precious. Stupid. I remember being called a "poser" when I was in junior high because I liked Sublime and I was learning how to skateboard. I thought we'd grown out of that mentality, but apparently not.

Anytime I learn something new or discover a new band or a new dish or a new style, I'm eager to share it with anyone I think would appreciate it and see what they think. Sharing knowledge is a community-oriented concept. Unfortunately most of the knowledge I obtain is about politics or current affairs since that's what intrigues me, so I rely on a VERY select few people that are more into modern scenes to share their knowledge with me...and it's greatly appreciated.

Sometimes mainstream concepts are practical for me and sometimes they're not at all. There's a time and a place for everything. I'm not going to walk into my friend's garage with naked chick posters all over the walls and crack open a bottle of fine French wine. I will, however, bring some chips, dip, and Bud Light bottles....but being a closed-minded asshole would make me look like a chump if I took that same concept to a cheese and wine party........

I like being the median between the people in the bubble and the people in the scene. I do not accurately fit into either category so I find myself as one of the select few that does not give a shit. And if I like something, it's based on logic and rational decision to like it; not because it's liked or disliked by a certain demographic of humans.

So...I am a square. I'm a square to the rednecks drinking Keystone because I don't like to gut dear and slaughter chickens. I'm a square to the posh people because I like some music from the radio and I buy my clothes at the mall.

Ultimately, your taste is your taste, individually. It's one of the only things you can truly own that will truly define who you are. Why let anyone else decide for you?????

Gold and Blue Butterfly Wings

Today I took my little soldier dog on a walk around the neighborhood in an attempt to wind us both down for the night. We strolled past perfectly manicured lawns and potted pansies, 2 story houses with earth colored siding and driveways filled with new cars. It seemed as if every other house once belonged to a friend or their parents, andthe sights brought back memories. I started to feel claustrophobic; not so much because of the memories as most of them were good and involved friends I still love dearly...but the houses, the trees, flashbacks of my past, the tight streets and barking dogs...we turned a corner and within a matter of seconds, the weather turned from warm, bright and sunny to windy and overcast.

The clouds were low and the sun was still setting, the mature trees were whipping around in the wind and the tulips looked like they were getting run through a washing machine.

Moody weather in Arizona and Utah is unlike most places I know; there is this amazing energy in the air that feels so heavy and intense. Like the Earth is very much alive and you are so small; the equivalent to the tulip rooted to the ground along the white picket fence.

At the end of the street is a small split in the fence and an open field on the other end. A large field with dark, green grass, followed by a deserted playground surrounded by cattle farms..the perfect place to let my dog off his leash and the perfect place to take my shoes off and feel the grass on my bare feet. I released Riley and sprinted across the field with bare feet, squishing the moist ground in my toes. It felt good to run and feel the wind and the grass and the humidity. To my right is Wasatch Front; it separates Utah from Colorado with the giant, rugged Rocky Mountain Range.

The whole experience caused a strange epiphany in me which seems almost unrelated to the silly sprint through the grass with my short-legged Scottish Terrier lagging behind (stopping to smell the flowers)...

When I was 18 and first dating my ex-husband, we were trying to get to know each other but between our work schedules, my school schedule and our distance, it was hard to find the time. One night I was sitting in his car outside my front yard and he told me that he didn't feel like he knew me well...he wanted to know, beyond music, food and activities, what "makes you tick"... for a long time I thought I knew the answer, plain and simple. But in 7 years, the answer has evolved a million times and I always think the new answer is the right one.

Today I realized that every single th

ing that "makes me tick" falls under the same category:

I like my freedom.

I want a million friends and a million things to do on a Friday night.

I want to see the world and leave no area un-charted.

I want to try every single kind of cuisine,

hear every kind of music,

talk to every walk of life,

understand every complicated and basic concept,

learn everything there is to know,

see everything there is to see,

meet everyone worth meeting.....

In other words, I want to experience life.

With that being said, freedom is my biggest passion. You could also translate freedom into independence; but however you define it, it boils down to the opportunity of experience, and I refuse to pass one up.

This high-maintenance requirement in my brain has existed since the day I recall cognitive thought. I have always been an explorer, a creator, an observator, an experimenter and a questioner...this lifestyle is complicated, as much as it can be simple.

It's going to take a particular time in my life before I'm willing to surrender to a committed relationship. Right now, the thought makes my throat close up and makes my heart sink. Like the idea of being tied to one person is...

...a fate equivalent to jail time. I have always been boy crazy because it's part of the adventurous spirit. Along the way I have met quite a few inspiring and amazing boys that have forever dented my brain with enlightenment....but to choose someone to share this life ADD; impulsive, spontaneous adventure that is Katie's life...I propose that it could be quite impossible. I know a few people that could hang; at least to an extent. Those people will forever remain in my life as cherished friends and highly respected and adored by me. However, it would be selfish for me to lead anyone into a committed situation with the thriving need for exploration that I have. No one can hang well enough, because my path must be walked alone.

A lot of people look at me and understand the intense craving for independence that I have and wonder why the hell I joined the military. I feel like the answer is simple; how is the military holding me back? I will be provided a new and fascinating experience, be serving a significant purpose, have job security, be traveling, meeting tons of new people, and be granted the amazing gift of education; if I choose to become a doctor, I CAN now. I have the funds available to do so. If I decide to be an attorney, I CAN!! If I decide to travel the world as a photo journalist, what the hell is going to stop me!? If anything, this new choice has liberated me more...I am a solo girl. I don't want a family. If anything, I want a dog. But now is not the time. I can't even commit to a pet right now. My home is simply a place to lay my head before starting a new and exciting journey.

I am nervous for the upcoming events. I am leaving in 3 weeks and it is breathtakingly intimidating. I still have a lot of work to do. But the idea of a new change is the motivating factor. I have strayed away from the norm many times in my life and left many friends and family members behind for new experiences. Thanks to modern technology, I will always be able to keep in touch with those I want to. There are some people I will easily forget and some I will think about constantly.

I can think of at least 7 friends (one doubling as my sister and one being my step-dad) that would willingly visit me anywhere in the world if I requested. So my life is not ending. It's just getting another reset button; and this one is significant.

This unemployment and time with my parents, old friends and new friends has been truly amazing a soul cleansing. I have loved every second I spend with my parents, talking, eating and laughing. And my friends, as usual, bring me a great deal of elation. It's all been revitalizing and is motivating me even more to do the things in life that I must do to keep making myself tick.

Music

I want a playlist on my blog but it's too ugly to put on my sidebar. And it's running low on options at the moment; like everything else in my life, it is a work in progress. But, nonetheless, now music will play.

The Best and Worst Things: Video Version

This is my eclectic list of shit that I love and things the world could totally do without....

This is my video version. So everything I mention has a corresponding Youtube video. And with that being said, I must admit; Youtube is my religion. I am addicted. I need an intervention.

The Best cartoon series on Youtube: Salad Fingers!!

I love this twisted little dude so much. He's a post-apocalypse survivor, all alone in the world and apparently suffers from multiple brain disorders. He is so cute and endearing in a nightmare-ish sort of way. When I'm feeling sad, I visit the ol' chap to see what his next adventure will be. I know I'm sick.

The worst video on You Tube: That Hand Thing

Eeeeewwww...Thank you, Drew, for scarring my brain permanently. And I have passed on this sickening parasite to many other people, because misery loves company and no one should suffer over this video alone. If you find some kind of insight in the depths of the nastiness, you're either reading too far into it, or you may belong in prison.

The best Politician: Ron Paul

Goodness, I love this man so, so much. He represents every piece of political perfection that an American could ever want. His logic is absolute and clear of agendas. His understanding of the Constitution is sound. He was a doctor, he understands economics and has served on an economic committee, and to top it all off, the man can SPEAK! He doesn't speak in rhythms like Obama or in vague gibberish like Bush. He speaks like a man that knows what the hell he's talking about. I long for the day that this man, or someone with identical views, runs our country correctly.

Worst Talk Show Host: Glenn Beck

He's the ultimate douche. Enough said.

Best song to dedicate to a clingy ex: The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot, by Brand New

These guys are lyrical geniuses so even if you dislike emo, you have to appreciate their songs. But I like, like, like emo...I'm over the shame....I'll openly admit it now.

Worst song, worst lyrics, worst voice, most pitiful excuse for music in existence: Party at a Rich Dude's House, by Ke$ha

Ke$ha<---notice the $ replaced 'S'...Who let this bitch out of her cage!? I wish for her a bright future which includes a lobotomy.

Most Inspirational Individual: Eckhart Tolle

He is the most enlightened man alive. I strongly recommend 'New Earth'. He has a very Buddhist approach, but ultimately, he claims no religion. His ability to dissect emotions and events that happen to humans is truly remarkable.

Worst TV Show: Jersey Shore

Someone, please castrate the boys and cauterize the girl's ovaries immediately....because like...people...like...that are like...stupid, like, they are...like....I friggin....like..think they shouldn't friggin like....be able to like...bring...children into the like...world...

The best movie of all time: It's an epic tie! Full Metal Jacket and American Beauty

Full Metal Jacket:

This movie combines all of the best concepts a movie can have; War, comedy, philosophy, tragedy, guns, glory, guts, violence and irony....mmmmmm....I salivate at the thought.

American Beauty:

Casting is exceptional. The ongoing theme is consistent and profound. I wrote a paper for my philosophy class in college and was able to tie themes from 4 different philosophers into the plot of this story. And I got an 'A'...

This clip also has one of the best quotes of all time...epic...seriously.

Best way to waste 2 hours: Sharing Youtube videos on your blog! Seriously.